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Missile Defense
Our Foolproof Path to World Domination

by Willis C. Crumb, ABD*

Those of us grounded in Sound Science laugh at those who doubt our President's support for a missile defense system.  Facts are facts and the fact is that our tests of missile defense have always worked infallibly (provided they are carried out in the right conditions). 

With a missile shield in place, we will be free to use nuclear weapons at will. This is why we need to expand our nuclear armaments, ignore all pertinent treaties and prepare to use nuclear technology as our weapon of the first resort, instead of last.

Some object to the cost, pointing out that such plans only swell our already burgeoning national debt. Is it not important to be a moral nation? The only president to remove national debt had sex in the White House. Our rising budgetary deficit takes us further from that scandalous era. This is why I have proposed to the President that we should

 

CLASSIFIED

By order of the president of the United states, effective

 

 

*ABD: All But a Doctorate

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