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Fossil Fuels
Fertilizer For Our Future

by Willis C. Crumb, ABD*

Some people, ignorant of the findings of Sound Science, have questioned the dependence of the United States upon fossil fuels and have demanded that we develop new sources of energy to reduce our dependence on foreign oil and save our forests, wetlands and wilderness.  Even worse, some wooly-headed intellectuals have suggested that reducing energy consumption is an even cheaper and more beneficial long term answer for our nation, our economy and our planet than seeking alternative sources.

Such talk is more than unpatriotic. It is close to treason.  What type of car owner typically flies the American flag?   The answer's obvious -- the owner of an SUV.  These are our true patriots, the very people whose interests would be most affected if we allowed subversive ideas to prevail.  

My own research, sponsored by the United States Oil Association, proves that the burning of fossil fuels actually benefits our planet and if resources are dwindling, the solution is simple -- MORE EXPLORATION.  There is untapped potential not just at our doorstep but under the mat.  We must start drilling in the Everglades today and seed the Gulf of Mexico with derricks.  We have forest land where it is only the trees that hinder our access to exploration and so we must strip them bare today to allow test drilling to begin.

Global warming? There's an easy answer. Environmental restrictions limit the pollutants that keep our planet cool. We shall scrap all of them under my proposed Clear Skies Act, a law

 

CLASSIFIED

By order of the president of the United states, effective

 

 

*ABD: All But a Doctorate

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